Between Worlds: Reflections on God, Humanity, and the Quest for Peace
As We Feed Ourselves Truth We Exude It
Last year I wrote a provocative essay entitled “You Are God” and today I’d like to expand on it, sharing some thoughts on the concept of God as I’ve experienced it in my own life.
Having played numerous roles across a diverse array of cultures and environments, I’ve honed a unique ability to distinguish genuine talent and truth from deceptive facades. I’ve become adept at recognizing subtle signals, symbology, and clues that few pick up on and the world itself has been my classroom for nearly 50-years. Though all the chapters I’ve lived, this current one excites me the most. Thank you so much for joining me in my ongoing journey of discovery.
I appreciate the universal, spiritual basis of all religions and deeply respect people’s devotion to their faith and practices without prejudice. Personally I’ve always avoided concrete frameworks or adhering to labels and in my writing attempt to choose words that will resonate with the widest audience possible.
Whether you believe in a guru, deity, spirit-at-large, science, or anything else, I genuinely welcome your participation and hope to present my ideas in new ways that inspire, support, and enlighten. I’m always happy to dive deeper into anything that piques your interest and am available for consultations in-person and virtually via the About link.
Through nearing death and recovering my health I have come to realize that my whole life I was unknowingly walking the path of Christ. From a non-religious, universal context, walking the path of Christ means living with compassion, empathy, and a commitment to serving others. These principles transcend religious boundaries and are inherent to our humanity.
Often when people face life-threatening illness and extremely intense situations they are gifted with broader perspective awareness regarding their place in the world and generally come through their experiences with a deeper appreciation of life.
Unfortunately as most people quickly readjust back into the grind, they forget their lessons as if they’d never received them. I cannot do that. Instead I choose to continue examining how I may be most effective in contributing to the greatest good for all mankind, especially in regards to improving the world for children that will grow up in the days to come.
I was born for peace and am still here, committed to living with the tiniest footprint and maximum impact possible. Peace does not mean passive, though many people incorrectly assume that it does. Think about it. Envision the sensation of peace for yourself. Imagine enveloping your environment with peace and what that will feel like fulfilled.
Whatever your current circumstances, I encourage you to critically examine your own existence and see where you might be able to make micro improvements for the sake of tomorrow. All it takes is a willingness to carve out some time for exploration and being honest with yourself. Don’t get too ambitious with this task and don’t put your attention on judging others. Focus solely on your own behavior for this exercise.
Grab some paper and pens and leaving all your devices behind, find a quiet place where you can consciously and quietly breathe. Then ask yourself what lessons you’ve learned through your most trying times that are worth remembering now, and jot them down in a simple list. When no more lessons come to mind, look your list over and for each lesson you wrote ask yourself what are three ways you could actively and easily apply the lesson to your daily life now.
Once you’re through and have a list full of activities, add one per day to your calendar for the next 90-days — continuously rotating through all of them so they don’t become stale or forgotten. Then commit to doing the things and make them a priority each day. It’s amazing how much can be accomplished in the long-run through tiny, intentional activities carried out consistently.
In 2022 after being told it was unlikely I’d live beyond 3-months without a relatively simple surgery that I didn’t have the resources to get, I did what I could to tie up loose ends while my body gave in to the progressiveness of my illness and death appeared imminent.
I’ll share specific stories of how I processed during that time in the future and look forward to addressing more typically taboo topics without filtering because I now understand that it’s what I’m meant to do, in a way seemingly impossible to explain.
My recovery has been sort of like life’s timeline got flipped upside down and now I get to share and apply all the relevant things I learned in the past to the present, regardless of whether or not anyone chooses to engage with me.
It’s become a super lonely endeavor as most people I’ve encountered seem to get easily put off by me, especially since I’ve “awakened”. The truth is though that I’ve always been polarizing and “ahead of my time”. Now I better understand what those words mean.
The ironically funny thing is that throughout the entirety of my life, I’ve been primarily operating in survival mode without recognizing it — failing to see myself as any different from anyone else besides our unique circumstances. We all bleed red and fundamentally are atomically and anatomically the same so I never viewed myself as special or important.
Until fairly recently I also hadn’t grasped how much I’m hated and feared. More accurately put, how much hate and fear exist within the hearts and minds of decent, well-meaning people and how far they’ll go for the sake of their individual ego and suppressing truth. Hate and fear are states of being I’ve always been aware of but have never been able to sustain.
I’ve been recognizing how similar our normal life here in the United States is today to what it was like in Germany 100 years ago, with obvious technological differences due to the times. Meanwhile globally our world is actively in the process of implosion.
It could be easy to dismiss that claim as most people who lived back then are now long deceased and the ones still alive lack the faculty and recall to properly express their observations. Few people walking the earth today have taken much of an interest in or have thoroughly studied the conditions of those times.
When I lived in Germany in the 1990s I found it interesting and inspiring how much importance was placed by their federal government on educating its people about historical events, so as to never let them be repeated. I’m still sane enough to remember many intimate conversations I had with senior citizens who’d lived through war about their personal experiences and perspectives, in addition to touring concentration camps and other historically significant sites. But I digress and can tell you more about that another time.
I exist through miracles and therefore must intentionally extend them. This is much more challenging than any socially well adjusted person can likely comprehend, although that fact doesn’t change the matter a bit.
I believe that all children are born with equal potential, though nurturing it and keeping one’s spiritual awareness alive is quite rare. I’m grateful for all of the conditions I’ve encountered and for the opportunities I have had to adapt and persevere through. This is the foundation of my resilience.
While you’ll hear stories from me as time goes on that may be perceived as tragic, please understand that I tell them for the purpose of illustration, not pity. Pain is finite and as we pass through difficult experiences, those experiences become the past.
Of course we can all conjure up memories for examination under any lens we wish and choose to keep wounds festering unnecessarily. I strive to move through the world in form on purpose, present-focused, and with purpose — leaving little room for resentment or vengeance. This is how I feed my soul and keep my spirit alive as pure in essence as possible.
This is how I remain young at heart and how I interact with my own divinity — my spiritual awareness, my recognition of God within me — while witnessing it outside myself simultaneously. You are as much God as am I and while living in harmony with your spiritual nature, capable of far more than you have probably yet realized. I hope you learn this to be true if you do not already know that it is.
Sadly, I have found that relatively few Americans actually do want to realize peaceful existence — despite their assertion that they do — due to deep-seated indoctrination promoting division. The wanting is the gap, the addiction, and the crutch. Behaviors reveal truth as lies pass through lips. Congruence remains rare.
Who would someone be if not victim, villain, or savior? We’ve been socially programmed toward chaos and drama for so long but I hadn’t realized how prevalent adaptation had become while tuned out from the mainstream. Blame, shame, and guilt are the bedrocks of American life now and this observation truly breaks my heart. Nonetheless, I’ll continue sharing my unpopular thoughts and anecdotes publicly for as long as I’m able to, as I've come to understand this to be my destiny. As we grasp our purpose, we must surrender to it and act accordingly.
Honestly, revealing my personal life history and feelings openly like this feels grossly gratuitous to me. But to relieve my own grief for the ease of my ego would be to complicitly deny truth and that I can no longer do. Too many people are suffering from tight lips and turned heads while masterful propaganda serves to further oppress. It’s not okay. The burden of my gifts pale in comparison to their value and living in service is my passion, though I’m loathe to do so in servitude. Therein lies my current conundrum.
I’ve been learning a lot about assumption and nonverbal transference of information in new ways lately, having been exposed to a cacophony of personal attacks. It’s been absolutely fascinating, though truly terrifying at the same time. It’s how I believe the collective soul works and can be productively and proactively used to positively shape willing communities very intentionally.
Clearly my opinions don’t help me fit within the general population and I have to be mindful to limit my casual interactions, as beyond superficialities my presence is rarely welcome. Still, I do my best to enjoy the journey and move through painful hiccups as quickly and gracefully as possible. Unlike a crash test dummy I feel it all as I’m as human, real, and fallible as you are.
In my experience of self-actualization so far I’ve found that often as people gain knowledge they have a tendency to view themselves as heroes, separate from and superior to their flock. They desire recognition and riches, thus indulging the ego — which can be recognized as “edging god out”. The more strongly one proclaims themselves as having arrived, the more stunted their growth must become.
Exploring your personal connection to the source from which we all emanate is a continuous journey that ebbs and flows without end. Each time you arrive at a new level of awareness you get rewarded with opportunities to more fully evolve. It happens very fast and your brain or other physical aspects of your being may or may not be ready for the increased absorption required. That’s when illness and accidents happen, from a spiritual sense.
How many times have things been going really well for you when BAM! — all of a sudden some major catastrophe comes along and derails you? This is normal and at any point you can choose comfort over mastery, temporarily stepping out of the active growth position for any length of time you wish. Though as you do you will experience retardation to some degree. Don’t fret over or fight it. Just allow your nature to be. This is how it works.
In the same way a flowing river avoids decay while a stagnant pond hospitably hosts the decomposition of organic matter, so too are we designed — both biologically and spiritually.
As one chooses adventure and discovery over complacency and security, they ascend in a spiritual sense. Sort of like unlocking new levels of a real life video game and being met with new characters, terrain, and opportunities. This ascension generally dictates the need to release from both human and material attachments, which can be extremely painful from an emotional perspective and why few people commit to self-actualization or spiritual leadership.
While in more passive states of self-actualizing we can still create. The more involved one is with their physical environment, relationships, and constructs, the more seeds they’re able to plant. Existence in the physical realm requires some degree of active participation in it.
As one advances towards their end of physical life their mind gets presented with snippets of history to reconcile. Everything becomes so clear, yet at the same time extremely surreal. The ability one has to translate their understanding into coherent and transferable communication becomes more limited and laborious than ever before, thus lulling most into exhaustion until they fully surrender and pass away.
Throughout my ever-eventful and wildly fluctuating life I have consistently prioritized and relied on internal guidance for survival, regularly recalling lessons learned by lived experience for guideposts, seeking external advice and validation as needed to better understand and master my conditions. That is God working through me and for me as I now understand it to be.
If you’ve appreciated this post I encourage you to check out my new podcast, where I delve deeper into reflections and hopes through spoken word. Together we can further envision and contribute to a world where all children thrive, expressing their unique incarnation within a nurturing environment of unconditional love and acceptance, fully supported.